Most people are either a spender or saver by nature, there usually isn’t an in-between. But in a relationship with one spender and one saver, conflicts are sure to arise. Savers need the security of a backup emergency fund just in case anything happens. Spenders like the freedom of being able to buy what they want when they want it.
So how do you find peace? Here are a few tips on finding balance that will make both of you happy.
It’s Not Personal
Your partner’s spending or saving habits are part of their money personality and having nothing to do with you. If you like to save, you might feel better understood if your partner saved too. But if you are a spender, having your partner buy you little gifts sometimes would make you feel appreciated.
Just like any other relationship conflict, the best way to deal with it is to communicate your feelings and find a compromise. For example, if you want to save $200 each paycheck and your partner is a spender, compromise and put $150 into savings and spend $50 on a date night.
Set Goals as a Team
Put your family’s needs above your own desires and determine what your financial goals should be based on what matters most to your family. Write your goals down and create a plan for how you can reach them. Work together for the best interest of your family.
Accept Each Other
Loving someone means accepting them for who they are. And their money personality is part of who they are. Your spouse has spent a lifetime creating their spending or saving habits; they probably won’t change, at least not overnight. Accept that you will always have different ideas.
Creating a budget that makes both of you happy can make your relationship stronger and more satisfying. Create a budget that will cover your monthly expenses, put a little in savings, and give you some money to play with. It may take some time and a few adjustments, you may even find that you need to cut expenses in order to make it work, but finding a compromise will give you both what you want.
Build an Emergency Fund
This tip is non-negotiable for spenders and savers alike. You can never predict when the car will break down or an unexpected bill will show up on your doorstep. You need to be prepared. Money won’t solve all of your problems, but an emergency fund will give you peace of mind. Create an emergency fund of at least $1000 for anything unexpected.
Finding a compromise doesn’t have to be difficult, but you will both have to give a little in order to get some of what you want. Working together on your financial situation though will give your relationship strength.